surgery

I'm leaving around noon today for Boston. The surgery is tomorrow morning around 7:30am.I'll be back around Sunday night.
Ahh.. here we go again..

quick update

* I am in Florida right now enjoying some sun, shopping, fun restaurants, walking, and my gradmother. I've been here for a week and I leave on Sunday. It's been a relaxing time, and I've enjoyed it.. I'll be ready to come home on Sunday evening though, because I'm starting to miss everyone.

* April 15th me and my family will leave for Boston. The morning of the 16th I have a bone scan on my neck scheduled (this is our last resort to figuring out what is wrong with my neck), and x-rays planned for my left femur because I scheduled a big surgery on it for June 29th. This Monday (April 6th) will mark one year since I fell and broke my femur. I cannot believe that it has been one year already.

* When I get home I will have a brand new room. I've lived in the same small room my entire life, and I've finally upgraded to a bigger room downstairs. Last week my dad painted it and had carpet put in, assembled a brand new desk for me & painted the moldings. What a great guy :) I'll post some pictures when its completely finished. All I need are closet doors and to arrange everything. The walls are bright pink, the comfortor set is zebra, with black curtains, and all white furniture (With the mirrored closet doors like I have in my room upstairs). The change will be nice.

See you all soon!

unexpected

Today I got a very unexpected phone call.

About 2 years ago I applied for SSI benefits, and after a long process I was denied. I reapplied in July of 2007, and then never heard anything back so I assumed that i was denied for a final time. I gave up on this and to be honest comnpletely forgot about it. This morning, a woman from SSI called and told me that my claim has been approved! She is setting up a phone interview with me on March 3rd to get my information, so they can start sending the checks. I am in shock and cannot believe that this is happening. This will be such a great opportunity for me to give my tired body the rest that it deserves, by not having to work for awhile. This came at such an appropriate time :)

trying..

At the New Year's Eve service Adam Conn came up to me and said "You know, you're my wife's favorite blogger. She loves reading your posts". So Shel, this is for you..

I haven't updated in awhile. I've had many blog-worthy things to write about (a trip to Boston, a trip to new york city for Christmas, and a day trip to Syracuse) all within a week and a half's time. Since my last post, there's many many tears, laughs and fears. The only thing I can blame my lack of posting on is discouragement. My trip to Boston did not go as well as I had anticipated it would. I actually left with more questions than what I went with. I met with my hip surgeon & we concluded that something definitely needs to be done with my left hip (because the nail head is sticking out of the bone and causing constant pain). The unsettling news is that he hasn't decided if it'd be to my benefit to take out all of the "hardware" in the whole leg (there are 2 screws in the hip socket, one large nail going from the socket to just above my knee, and a screw laying perpendicular to the large screw, to hold it all in place), or to only remove the screw head that is causing the most pain. The first would be a larger surgery and recovery time, but would possibly give me more peace of mind. However, if I fell again right after surgery, my leg would be destroyed. That worries the surgeons. We also did not decide on a date for a surgery.

Aaaand... onto my neck. This is the discouraging part. I had a very extensive MRI done on my neck and after reviewing it briefly, my neck surgeon said that it did not look like a structural issue. I was suppose to stay in Boston for a few more days and meet with a neurologist and a pain management doctor, but there was a huge storm approaching the next morning, so my surgeons requested that we leave right then. They gave me a prescription for an anti-inflammatory, and they said that it should work within 3 to 4 days. It has now been 16 days that I have been taking it and I have noticed no difference in pain level. This rules out structural, and possibly arthritis. So, what is it? I have no idea, and Boston doesn't either. I have to go get a bone scan done at Canton-Potsdam Hospital very soon and mail Boston the results. After that, I'll probably have to go back again to meet with a pain management team to try to relieve some of my pain, while they try to figure out whats wrong with me.

I was hoping that we'd get this settled before my neck semester starts, so that I won't have to deal with constant pain on top of going to school full time and working part-time. Oh well, I guess that won't be happening.

12/16

“Strength is born in the deep silence of long-suffering hearts; not amid joy.”

Today, an appointment was [finally] scheduled for me in Boston. I could not be happier about this! The appointment is for December 16th at 9am. My hip surgeon is in Japan right now and couldn't coordinate the visit with some neurologists, so we scheduled the appointment as a "follow-up" for my hip. I need the rods and screws out of my left leg as soon as possible because I am in a lot of pain in it all the time. I would MUCH rather get this done in Boston, if possible, because the whole experience with the hospital in Syracuse wasn't a pleasant one. Due to my college schedule (and recovery) it seems as though the hardware removal will be in the summer time.
As for my neck, it is still unknown what it wrong with it. I've talked with a few doctors and everyone thinks that it most likely won't require further surgery on it. If the first two haven't alleviated the pain, a third probably won't either. I'm thinking that it may be something to do with arthritis and food in tolerances (my mom can't eat tomatoes, potatoes, or chocolate or she is bed-ridden due to her arthritis acting up). I'm just praying that either physical therapy or food testing will prove to be the answer.
I want to write on here more, but I'm very busy with the semester winding down and working at the hockey arena and babysitting at church. When I'm not doing those, I'm trying to relax and give my very tired body rest.

I hope every one has a great holiday season!

jesus loves me

miracle

"Clinging To The Cross" Tim Hughes"
"My soul is weak
My heart is numb
I cannot see
But still my hope is found in You
I’ll hold on tightly
You will never let me go
For Jesus, You will never fail
Jesus, You will never fail

Simply to the cross i cling
Letting go of all earthly things
Clinging to the cross
Mercy’s found a way for me
Hope is here as i am free
Jesus, You are all i need
Clinging to the cross

Even darkness is as light to You, my Lord
So light the way and lead me home
To that place where every tear is wiped away
For Jesus, You will never fail
Jesus, You will never fail"



I need a miracle... now more than ever. I try not to let it show when I'm in public, but I really am not doing well physically and mentally. As most of you know,I've had problems with my neck since my first surgery July 13th, 2005. It has always hurt and brought discomfort, but I slowly learned to cope and go on with life with the pain. However, the story has changed in the past few months. It from from being very bad pain to extreme pain all day/every day... and on top of that I started developing some concerning symtoms. As of the past few months, I am completely dizzy all of the time, and this has caused me to black out from the pain and dizziness. I am drained all of the time and have no energy. On top of the constant dizziness (and blacking out) my coordination is off, and I have trouble with holding things with my arms and hands/fingers.

I was suppose to have an appointment in Boston in August, but that ended up not happening. My dad wrote my hip surgeon this past week about how its getting worse, and my surgeon emailed us right back. He apoligized for the delay, and said that he and a top team would do anything possible to come up with a conclusion (possibly even admit me for a few days for testing). This excites me, because at this point I just want to know what it is, even if its bad news. I'm just praying that they can figure out what this is once and for all. It scares me everyday when I am so dizzy that I need to sit or lay more than I can stand. My mind is in a daze and I need to be revived. People are not meant to live with fear and pain. I'll update this when we get an exact appointment date; I'm hoping that it's very soon.

If any of you were wondering where my mind has been lately, thats where its at. If I've been acting different when you see me, I also apoligize. I don't mean to be closed off.. its all I can do to stay 'together'. At this point, being out at church, school, or different places is a big task. This is very weird for someone like me who thrives on being around people and out. If you think of it, please pray for strength and answers at my appointment. At this point, they don't know what's wrong & I'm just praying to God from the depths of my soul for him to show them or pop the thought into their minds about what it could be.